The Private Memoirs and Confessions of a Hapless Sociopath

O, Who am I kidding? I ain't getting any sleep. This ain't getting any better. Why tf am I even trying? It might not be night outside but it's all dark in here. It's all dark in my mind. There's no light at the end of the tunnel. I doubt if this tunnel is ever going to end. Or if I would make it till the end. What are all these emotions I've started to feel all of a sudden? I think I've lost all my superpowers. I'm becoming a human like everyone else. I've never missed anyone or anything. I've never been nostalgic. I've never felt attached to anyone or anything. I've never cared to be with anyone. I was born a lonely man and I was destined to be that way all my life. I cannot fathom why have I started to yearn to have someone around me all of a sudden. Why have I started to miss all those people I once didn't even bother to care about? I cannot fathom if all these emotions that I've started to feel lately are even bad or not. 

These days I'm not very happy. I do not know how I feel but this feeling is not happiness for sure. I've known this fact that I'll spend a lonely life and I had made peace with it but now all of the sudden I'm no more happy about it. I'm no more at peace. I'm feel intimidated. Intimidated from this loneliness. I don't want to be this way. I feel like I'm being betrayed, betrayed by my own self. I've never been a hopeless person but now I feel hopeless all the time. This is all around me. Why'd anyone want to end up being all alone in his life? No one wants to be lonely. Neither me nor anyone else. We all are just trying to deal with this eternal loneliness we've trapped ourselves into. I feel trapped and suffocating. All the time. My life is perfect like it has always been. I'm surrounded with good people, good food, and everything I like but I don't like this. I feel like I'm incomplete and I'll remain incomplete all my life.