I feel happy like a human.

O, Who am I kidding? I ain't getting any sleep. This ain't getting any better. Why tf am I even trying? It might not be night outside but it's all dark in here. It's all dark in my mind. There's no light at the end of the tunnel. I doubt if this tunnel is ever going to end. Or if I would make it till the end.
What are all these emotions I've started to feel all of a sudden? I think I've lost all my superpowers. I'm becoming a human like everyone else. I've never missed anyone or anything. I've never been nostalgic. I've never felt attached to anyone or anything. I've never cared to be with anyone. I was born a lonely man and I was destined to be that way all my life. I cannot fathom why have I started to yearn to have someone around me all of a sudden. Why have I started to miss all those people I once didn't even bother to care about? I cannot fathom if all these emotions that I've started to feel lately are even bad or not. 'Cause I feel good. I feel happy. I miss being what I used to be. I miss my superpowers and I'm most certainly afraid of what might come next but I feel good about everything.

There's still no hope. There's still no joy in this life. And certainly there's no peace left in it. I still feel sad like the Batman but I also feel happy like an ordinary human being. And this time, the paradox, that my life has always been, is not killing me from inside but kind of healing me instead.

Morning & Midnight.
October 22nd, 2017.

~ Himanshu (expressing himself!)

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